The Conversation Every Family Needs
There’s this fantasy version of college floating around in every teen’s mind—a college campus so perfect it looks like it was built for a Netflix original. 🎬
Ivy-draped stone buildings glow in golden hour light. A cappella singers casually harmonize under ancient oak trees. A student zooms by on a vintage skateboard, earbuds in, probably listening to a podcast they recorded between Nobel Prize lectures and moonlighting as a startup founder.
Everyone’s beautiful, brilliant, and mysteriously unbothered.
… all wrapped in a sense of destiny—and crafted more by TikTok edits and secondhand hype than anything remotely real.
That “dream school” your teen talks about nine times out of ten is inherited.
Teens lock in on One Name—often one their parents, their parents' friends, or their guidance counselor mentioned years ago—and everything else becomes a consolation prize.
What they don’t realize is that it’s not “Ivy or Bust” and that there are dozens of schools where they could be happy, successful, and challenged in all the right ways.
Additionally, experience tells me that “dream school” means something entirely different to you than it does your teen.
Which is why it’s time to trade fantasy for something far more powerful: clarity.
💬
The Dream Usually Starts with Someone Else’s Voice
Only about 15% of parents are ride-or-die for a specific college. Meanwhile, some 30% of teens are out here act like they’ve already picked their forever campus—and it’s written in the stars. ✨
The problem is that most teens are echoing someone else’s wishlist. Or what they think is their wishlist.
It might be the college you went to.
Or one that “sounds fancy.”
Or where a friend’s cousin got in last year.
That’s not a dream. That’s a recycled ambition in school colors.
🌱
Dreams Grow—and So
Do Teens
The school your teen swears is “The One” at 16 might feel very different by 18. A year-and-a-half of growing up, learning, and living can change everything.
That’s why the “dream school” needs to be built on stuff that actually holds up over time.
👉 Fit
👉 Opportunity
👉 Affordability
Not prestige, pressure, or someone else’s idea of fabulous.
Both you and your teen bring dreams to the table, and you need to make sure those dreams are rooted in your family’s reality—not someone else’s projection or experience.
💡
Teens Aren’t Wrong—They’re Just Trying to Read the Room
So many teens are secretly trying to impress their parents… without even knowing it. They’re guessing what you want.
And unless you say otherwise, they’ll most likely assume you want prestige, status, or brand-name bragging rights.
Even if you don’t.
So now’s the time to talk about it. Get clear. Let them know what really matters.
Because those quiet assumptions can get expensive…
🌪️
When Your Dream Isn’t Helping
You want your kid in rooms full of brilliance and ambition. Of course you do.
But those Top 20 schools? They’re small. They’re cutthroat. And they’re rejecting tens of thousands of amazing students every year—just because there aren’t enough chairs.
Even when teens get in, some shrink instead of shine. (I'm thinking about my student who got into Yale…but who just never fit there. His classmates just weren't his people—which made his “dream” a rather angst-filled, lonely, and uncomfortable four-year-long nightmare.)
Confidence, connection, and opportunity aren’t exclusive to elite campuses.
And your dream (whether it's Ivy-league or not) should lift your teen—not weigh them down.
🔮🔮
Two Visions,
One Price Tag
Unless you put your dreams side by side, it’s easy to chase two different goals with one very real bill at the end.
So what’s the dream really about? Or as a former boss of mine used to say, “What are we solving for?”
For most families, it's:
✅ A place where your teen feels like they belong
✅ A place with opportunities—on campus and beyond
✅ A place your family can afford without financial strain
That’s what stands the test of time.
💸
Value Isn’t Settling—It’s Smart
More and more families who can afford the sticker price are saying “no thanks” to the $85K-a-year pressure cooker—and choosing:
🎯 Schools that offer generous merit aid
🎯 Programs that lead to real jobs
🎯 Campuses where their teen gets attention, not lost in the crowd
There’s a kind of quiet luxury in these schools—strong outcomes without an elite price tag. This is also why “mid-tier” schools are suddenly more competitive in the last five years.
Value doesn’t mean settling. It means making a confident move—no validation required. ✨
👂
The Talk Where
Everyone Gets Real
I’ve seen what happens when families don’t have the conversation early enough.
They put down a deposit at a school they can’t afford and then come looking for a pot of gold at the end of that rainbow, a magic fix. But here’s the thing: there’s no wand for that.
So talk now.
💬 Name the assumptions.
💬 Unpack the unspoken pressure.
💬 Ask the uncomfortable but necessary:
“Are we doing this because it’s right for us—or because it looks good to someone else?”
One of those is a plan. The other is a trap.
📊
The “Wait… That’s Your
Dream School?” Guide
If you’re ready to move past rankings — and what someone else says is great based on their own definitions — and into clarity, you need a real-deal convo starter.
Here’s a sneak peek from the Dream School Guide (a 2-page PDF):
Questions for parents to ask themselves:
🎓 Am I suggesting this school because I went there?
🙊 Would I still want my teen to go to this school if no one knew they were there?
👀 Am I reacting to other people’s choices more than my kid’s needs?
📈 Am I hooked on the published ranking… or the real fit?
🤔 Am I assuming my teen will thank me even if they’re miserable?
Questions for teens to ask themselves:
🎽 Do I love this school—or just the hoodie and hype?
🙃 Who am I trying to impress?
🏆 What do I like most…that this school is hard to get into—or that I belong there?
🎥 Is this college my dream—or someone else’s?
😬 Would I still want to go here if my best friend wasn’t?
And those are just some of the conversation-inducing questions I've got for you. Want the full, juicy list?
It’s practical. It’s punchy. It might save you thousands…or a transfer after freshman year.
You’re welcome.
✨
Choose What is Right—Not What Looks Right
High-profile, name-brand schools might impress your boss, your mother, or your neighbors…
But they won’t necessarily:
❌ Support your teen's unique goals
❌ Help your teen feel at home
❌ Offer your family scholarships or discounts
You get to choose what’s right for your family: academically, socially, and financially.
Those are the only rankings that matter.
With love, clarity, and full permission to ditch the dream that isn’t yours,
Christy
👋 Hi, if we haven't met yet, I'm Christy. I help students craft standout essays so they can submit their best possible applications with confidence.
Wanna chat? www.calendly.com/easiercollegeessays/30min
